


He's Too Gay To Function

by BookwormQueen27



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King, Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: And loved it, Beetlejuice watches Mean Girls, cause why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwormQueen27/pseuds/BookwormQueen27
Summary: Lydia lets Beetlejuice watch Mean Girls and use her sticky notes...
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	He's Too Gay To Function

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is totally just who I think fits the characters! If you think they are others, please tell me, cause I'm kinda curious to see what you think. Honestly this started because I'm 99% sure Delia has said she was the 'Cool Mom' line at some point in her life. Feel free to comment anything you like, don't like, or want to see! Thanks a ton!

“Okay, so, Beetlejuice just appeared behind me,” Delia entered the living room, her brows creased in confusion, “And stuck a sticky note on me,”

Lydia, who was on the couch, playing a game on her phone, looked up, “What did it say?” 

Delia grabbed the yellow note, which was still stuck on her arm, “Mrs. George, what does that even mean?” 

“Damn him,” Lydia cussed to herself, earning a ‘language’ from her stepmother, “I was going to get you,” 

The redhead raised her hand, “What does that even mean?” 

Lydia put down her phone, “Well, I was showing him the movie Mean Girls, because I’ve let him listen to the musical, and we got into a fight,” She paused, “He had the nerve to say you were Mrs. George,” 

“Why?” Delia was still very lost. “Because, ‘You’re not a regular mom, you’re a cool mom,” Lydia rolled her eyes. 

“And?”

Lydia shrugged, “Well, you aren’t like that, not anymore anyways. You lost that after you realized that saying you're a 'Cool Mom' doesn't make it true, ” Lydia bit her lip, “But, you're obliviously a Karen Smith,"

"I am?"

"Duh. You have the mental capacity of Karen, like stupid most the time, but sometimes, you do say some smart things. Plus, I mean, think about it, she just has your personality,”

Delia slowly nodded, “You know what, I'll just be Mrs. George,” She stuck the note back onto her dress, “I-I have to go think this over,” 

She exited the living room, leaving Lydia alone. “You know what?” Lydia rose to her feet, speaking to herself, “I got to get others,” She quickly moved upstairs. 

The Maitlands were sanding a new table that Adam had built for the kitchen, talking in hushed tones when Lydia made it up there. As quietly as possible, Lydia took out two sticky notes from her pocket and wrote down the first two characters she thought fit her ghost parents the best. Slowly, she moved over to them, ready to post the notes onto their clothing, when the floor creaked, blowing her cover. 

“Dammit,” The teenager growled, before looking at the Maitlands, who looked very confused. “Hey! How are you?” Lydia put her hands behind her back, a fake smile on her face. 

“We’re good, Lydia, what do you have?” Barbara’s brows were creased in confusion as she put down the sandpaper.

“Nothing,”

“It looked like sticky notes,” Adam pointed out. In a flash, knowing that she already had blown her cover, Lydia placed the papers onto their clothing. 

“What?” Barbara took her’s off first, “Ms. Norbury? Isn’t that the teacher from that movie?”

“Mean Girls, yes,” Lydia corrected, watching as Adam looked at his note. 

“Kevin Gnapoor?” He looked at the teenager, “I don’t remember him,” 

“He’s the math nerd, who thinks he’s cool,” Lydia explained, “He just reminded me of you, like you think you’re super cool, which you are, but in a nerdy, dad type of way,”

“Why am I Ms. Norbury?” 

Lydia shrugged, “You push people to be better, and, you just do, I don’t know,” She paused, “Plus, in the musical, the actress sounds like you,” 

“That’s cool, but, why?”

“Because, why not? I was bored and it’s a funny movie. Fair warning, Beetlejuice-”

Suddenly in a cloud of smoke, the demon himself appeared, “Sup, bitches!” He paused, noticing that Lydia was there, “Damn, you beat me,” He snapped his fingers, “But, I have one for you,” He pulled out a yellow sticky note, “I think it fits you nicely,” 

Lydia took the note from her BFFFF, “Janis?” “Yeah, cause you’re goth, a beoych, and you have a big lesbian crush on Regina George,” He explained, a huge smile on his face. Gosh, he looked like a child. Behind her, Lydia heard the Maitlands laughing.

“Well, I have one for you,” Lydia took out a green one that she had already made. 

Beetlejuice looked excited as he read it, “Damion!”

“Yep, you are the only person who fits the ‘Too Gay to Function’ tab,” Lydia nodded. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers, an oversized blue hoodie appearing and a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes. “She doesn’t even go here,” He spoke quickly, a smile on his face “I have to go show Ms. George!” 

As quickly as he appeared, Beetlejuice left, going off to most likely scare Delia. 

“So,” Barbara finally spoke, causing Lydia to turn to her, “Who’s your father going to get?”

Lydia smiled to herself, “Oh, just you wait…”


End file.
